Ice-cold showers and Hershey's dark chocolate were critical commodities as I journeyed into Week Two of my single-hearted search for wisdom. I'm not sure what triggered my rebellious hormones, but they were undoubtedly my biggest obstacle this week, challenging this celebrated spinster's vows of submission and spiritual purity.
Ironically, my desire for affection has remained dormant for several months now, following a couple of dating missteps that motivated me to stay the single course. Imagine my shock as a rather unladylike desire for companionship emerged last week.
"Where did this come from?" I cried aloud after a few days of failed meditation. Moments of silence were as fleeting as my stash of dark chocolate chips, which I hungrily devoured for consolation. (I haven't forsaken gluttony!)
Wednesday night, I crawled into a bed of layered blankets and blurted out to God, "Why now?!" A storm of frantic questions followed, proceeded by a blunt conversation. I fell asleep during that pleading prayer, confessing my innate, human imperfections.
Hours later, I was roused by my bird-chirping alarm clock. Stumbling toward my meditation chair, I sank onto its cushions, grasping a mug of green tea. It wasn't until a few sips of my herbal elixir that I awakened to a personal epiphany — my bedtime hysteria had quelled, succeeded by a morning of stillness. Of peace.
I focused on the morning's devotional reading as my marmalade tabby, Willie, crawled onto my lap. And I revisited my prayer from the prior night — this time, reassured that communion with God exists when we're willing to communicate with honesty and humility — and honor his response with obedience.
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