Week One: Sidling up to Stillness

"I have lived with several Zen masters — all of them cats."
Eckhart Tolle

    A few days prior to my Valentine's vow, I enjoyed my nightly ritual after a stressful day at the office — I lit a candle, turned off the lights and soaked in a hot bath of Epsom salts. Dubbed my detox bath, I covet this quiet time, reflecting on the day's chaos and close. Still a bit wired from my job's unending deadlines, I grabbed for my phone and scrolled through work emails and Facebook posts. That's when this soon-to-be oath-taker groaned, reading a message that delivered an ironic (and quite cruel) invitation: an expense paid trip to San Francisco. The plane ticket to paradise was courtesy of a man-friend — a man-friend who'd crossed my path a few years ago and would likely be more than a "friend" if geographical distance wasn't our foe (a recurring theme in my life).
    Grudgingly, I declined the enticing invitation, as my spinsterly, celibate body sank into a steaming bath of regret. Despite the momentary disappointment, my fleeting lot with the lad was but a mild challenge as I embarked on my single-hearted journey for wisdom. My greatest hurdle last week lacked the luster of bygone romance. Rather, it was my quest to forsake the self-imposed "noise" in my life as I sought communion with the great creator.
    While I've sacrificed much of that noise over the years, such as the luxuries of cable television and a home computer (yep, this post was drafted on a legal pad!), I still possess one of the most addictive gadgets in our modern society — a smart phone. My iPhone provides me with countless, wasted hours of social media. Sure, the simple (and desirable) solution consists of flushing my phone down the toilet, freeing myself of its toxic temptation. Yet, this option is unavailable to me, so says my newspaper career that mandates the little beast.
    My goal for Week One was to find a healthy balance with my vice and my spiritual practices.
    My daily routine began at 5 a.m., sipping hot tea and sinking into my meditation chair for prayer and reflection. The first few days were a struggle, as my mind raced on emails and Facebook posts connecting me with my myriad of friends and gossip — certainly not communion with the spiritual divine. After a few days of frenzied, unfocused meditation, I flung my phone into the bedroom, casting it an untouchable until the workday began. I traded scrolling through feeds and sending early morning emails for meditating on and memorizing scripture. (I'm currently working on my ceremony's scripture; Wisdom's Call, Proverbs 8.)
    My cats Waylon and Willie were by my side each morning as I attempted my awkward "art" of meditation. In time, I hope to acquire their mastery of stillness — their feline peace. Yet, I'm convinced that such magnificence is simply unattainable.

A Celebrated Ceremony

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's" ... a colossal, yet incredibly delicious disaster. Oh, amore!

 Despite the allure of sappy serenades (yes, I'm a sucker for love ditties!), I'm skipping Sinatra on my playlist this Valentine's Day. Yep, I'm shelving Ol' Blue Eyes and consciously dodging Cupid's stinging arrow. And I'm professing perhaps the most countercultural commitment a 30-something year-old single woman can make: to remain single and celibate. Oy! (At least for 365 days.)

But why?!

 It's not because I'm vying for the title of "Old Maid of the Year," although I wouldn't mind brandishing a crown from time to time (who wouldn't?!). Quite the contrary, it's because I want to be stripped of all dangling life-accessories that distract me from delving into the core of who I am. And perhaps who God wants me to be. Today begins a purposeful adventure, seeking wisdom through personal and spiritual reflection and growth. 

Here's to 365 days of celebrating life, through communion with that greater spirit and the spirit that resides within.

The Celebrated Spinster Ceremony 

Will you dedicate this next year of your life to journeying towards greater wisdom of God and self, leaving behind all distraction, embracing a path of meditation, prayer, study, submission, solitude, celibacy and simplicity?  I will.

 Wisdom’s Call

Proverbs 8:1-12

8 Does not wisdom call out?
    Does not understanding raise her voice?
2 At the highest point along the way,
    where the paths meet, she takes her stand;
3 beside the gate leading into the city,
    at the entrance, she cries aloud:
4 “To you, O people, I call out;
    I raise my voice to all mankind.
5 You who are simple, gain prudence;
    you who are foolish, set your hearts on it.[a]
6 Listen, for I have trustworthy things to say;
    I open my lips to speak what is right.
7 My mouth speaks what is true,
    for my lips detest wickedness.
8 All the words of my mouth are just;
    none of them is crooked or perverse.
9 To the discerning all of them are right;
    they are upright to those who have found knowledge.
10 Choose my instruction instead of silver,
    knowledge rather than choice gold,
11 for wisdom is more precious than rubies,
    and nothing you desire can compare with her.

     A Litany to Honor Women (from Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals, Claiborne, Wilson-Hartgrove, Okoro, Zondervan Press, 2010.)

We walk in the company of the women who have gone before, mothers of the faith both named and unnamed,
testifying with ferocity and faith to the spirit of wisdom and healing.
  They are the judges, the prophets, the martyrs, the warriors, poets, lovers and saints who are near to us in the shadow of awareness, in the crevices of memory, in the landscape of our dreams.

We walk in the company of Deborah,
 who judged the Israelites with authority and strength.

We walk in the company of Esther,
 who used here position as queen to ensure the welfare of her people.

We walk in the company of you whose names have been lost and silenced,
 who kept and cradled the wisdom of the ages.

We walk in the company of the woman with the flow of blood,
 who audaciously sought her healing and release.

We walk in the company of Mary Magdalene,
 who wept at the empty tomb until the risen Christ appeared.

We walk in the company of Phoebe,
 who led an early church in the empire of Rome.

We walk in the company of Perpetua of Carthage,
 whose witness in the third century led to her martyrdom.

We walk in the company of St. Christian the Astonishing,
 who resisted death with persistence and wonder.

We walk in the company of Julian of Norwich,
 who wed imagination and theology, proclaiming “All shall be well”.

We walk in the company of Sojourner Truth,
 who stood against oppression, righteously declaring in 1852, “Ain’t I a woman!”

We walk in the company of the Argentine mothers of the Plaza de Mayo,
 who turned their grief to strength, standing together to remember “the disappeared” children of war with a holy indignation.

We walk in the company of Alice Walker,
 who named the lavender hue of womanish strength.

We walk in the company of you mothers of the faith,
 who teach us to resist evil with boldness, to lead with wisdom, and to heal.

Amen.